周文開        觀音耶穌 幫唔到我

搬入公屋兩年,周文開家的凌亂骯髒程度有增無減。屋內幾十支水種竹葉青,似乎是阿開和「小強」在混亂中的一片樂土,「我好多嘢諗,邊得閒執屋。」

七年前,周文開說過,照顧和他一樣患病的前妻和兒子,是自己一世人的責任。如今,他肩膊上擔子的重量有增無減,像大石般把他壓得透不過氣。

「我前妻精神有問題啊,佢未曾搵到男人之前,我有責任照顧佢,呢個係法官之前講的,國際上亦都通。」前妻隔日來到他家,入屋搵嘢食又搵啱使的日用品,遇上他老婆在家,火星撞地球一發不可收拾。 

他和前妻生的兒子,教他最放不下。其中三十歲的大仔,早前經婚姻介紹所穿針引線,和一名越南女子結婚,「我好擔心阿仔捱壞身體,又驚佢俾人呃,如果有日佢老婆走佬,佢肯定好難頂。」

阿開吃了精神病藥物,每天要睡十多小時,他每日食煙一包半,不喝濃茶就來二窩頭,更在國貨公司買入大量黃花精口服液,相信喝了會精神些。「咁樣我先可以照顧前妻同個仔。阿開開口埋口話要照顧前妻,老婆卻如工人般服侍他,難怪投訴。他愛的,究竟是誰?「當然係現在的老婆,又感激又愛。」他說,現在的妻子,是他最重要、最珍惜的人。但偏偏昔日枕邊人,教六十七歲的他,一世都放不開。

「做賊,都要有道義;做人,又點可以無責任。」

「我信觀音、又信耶穌,但講到責任,佢哋都幫唔到我。」


Even Jesus can’t help me     Chow Man-hoi, Stuwert Delon


Chow Man-hoi moved into the public rental flat only two years ago, but it has become so messy and dirty that it is hard to bear, only one side of the room provides some breathing space, with scores of bamboo plants. “I have no time to clean the house – I have so much on my mind,” Ah Hoi says.

Seven years ago, he said that taking care of his ex-wife and son was his life-long responsibility. Since then, the weight on his shoulders has only increased, so much so that he can hardly breathe.

“My ex-wife has mental health problems," Ah Hoi says. "I am responsible for taking care of her until she finds another man. In court that was what the judge said, and it is also generally accepted in the world.”

His ex-wife comes to his flat every other day, she will look for food to eat or toiletries she can use. If his ex-wife comes when his wife is at home, the two will quarrel.

What worries Ah Hoi the most is the sons he had with his ex-wife. The elder one, who is 30 years old, has just married a Vietnamese woman he met through a marriage agency. “I am scared that my son will ruin his health and will be cheated. It would be very tough for him if she left him.”

Ah Hoi hopes he can stay healthy himself. “Then I can take care of my ex-wife and my son.” However, he sleeps more than a dozen hours a day because of the side effects of his mental illness drugs. Ah Hoi smokes one-and-a-half packs of cigarettes a day and likes to drink either strong tea or rice wine. He also buys herbal medicine at a mainland Chinese department store to boost his energy levels.

“My current wife looks after me, then I can take care of my ex-wife and my sons,” Ah Hoi says, summing up his relationship with the two women. It is easy to see why his wife complains, as she takes such good care of him, like a servant, while he keeps saying that he has to look after his ex-wife.
Who does he love, then? “My current wife, of course," Ah Hoi says. "I love her and I am grateful to her.” He says his current wife is the most valuable, important person to him. But his former wife will always be his responsibility. “Even thieves follow a moral code," he says. "A man has to live up to his responsibility.”
“I believe in Guanyin and I believe in Jesus. But none of them can share my burden when it comes to responsibility.”

© 2017 Dustin Shum via Visura